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What is a death doula?

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Death doulas, also known as end-of-life doulas, work with dying people, their families, and closest people to help them approach death on their terms. Doulas can be specialists or comprehensive providers. Some services you might expect to get from a doula include:

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• facilitation of end-of-life vigils and planning,

• coordinating with care teams and family members to meet client needs,

• MAiD and VSED assistance,

• psychedelic therapy,

• legacy project planning and creation,

• memorial planning,

• journaling & guided visualization or meditation,

• reiki and varieties of massage,

• assistance with paperwork and calls to ease communication with loved ones, insurance providers, doctors, etc,

• post death care and facilitation

  • and more! While some doulas may offer many of these services, you will find that some doulas specialize in just one or two areas. In my practice, I try to be as comprehensive as I can, but I am only one person. If I can't help you with something, I will help you find someone who can.

 

What’s the difference between a death doula & an end-of-life coach?

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This is tricky because there are some end-of-life coaches who are doulas and vice versa. So, in some cases - there is very little difference! Death doulas usually take courses to become death space professionals, and so do death coaches. The largest difference may be in the types of services offered. A death coach generally helps people understand the landscape of end-of-life choices and helps their client plan and achieve their end-of-life goals. A death doula does that as well, but also may be more intimately involved in the processes & plans, may help the family implement ritual, and is often trained in end-of-life care and therapeutic services. As doulas, we talk with our clients to determine the scope of services and tailor our work to each individual client, much like a death coach. There is a lot of overlap between the two types of care and the good news is that you have choices. Deathcare is intimate work - both a death coach & a death doula will be valuable to help you navigate the maze of end-of-life care. In my opinion, a death doula tends to be a bit more comprehensive and has a higher level of access and involvement in the day-to-day challenges. The important thing here is that you don't have to do this alone.

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Are death doula services covered by insurance?

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Sadly, not yet. I do believe that that is a possibility in the near future. In the meantime, I endeavor to adhere to an ethical code and be transparent in my services and fees so my clients will feel confident in the services they can expect and the quality of care I will provide.

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Can I get a death doula through my hospice?

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Some hospices do have agreements and partnerships with death doulas! This is something you can always ask your hospice about. (And hey! If they don’t currently work with a doula, you can let them know about MODAmyra.) That said, it is less common to find a hospice with a doula partner than without. But we death doulas are used to working with hospice clients as adjunct care providers and we are practiced at communicating with your hospice care team to make sure everyone is on the same page. We are happy to bridge those gaps with you.

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Can doulas help me with my medical aid in dying (MAiD) medication?

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Many of us are trained and experienced at facilitating MAiD ingestion. I offer MAiD and VSED facilitation. ONLY the client can administer MAiD life-ending medication to themselves. No one else is allowed to administer the medication to the patient, by law. With the CEOLOA (California End of Life Option Act), which took effect in 2016, the criteria for MAiD are as follows:

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• 18 years or older

• California resident

• Terminally ill with prognosis of 6 months or fewer to live - which is why many MAiD clients are already in hospice

• 2 consultations: with prescribing doctor & consulting doctor

• Absolutely NO coercion is lawful or acceptable & MAiD must be entered into with a full understanding of the process and completely by client choice. A client can change their mind at any point in the process, until they take the medication, so it is important that everyone is 100% clear & honest with each other. The death doula is there to answer questions, facilitate comfort & plans, and work with the care team.

• Client MUST self-administer, so capacity to self-administer is a requirement to be eligible for MAiD. To know more about what this means and how this works, contact me anytime. A doula can mix, hand off, and oversee ingestion of the medication, but they cannot physically administer the medicine to the client.

 

If you are looking for help in utilizing MAiD, don’t hesitate to contact me & ask! Not all doulas will work in this field but help is available and ready if you need it. MODAmyra supports dignity & choice in death.

 

Can a death doula help me with infant loss or miscarriage? What about for sudden loss?

 

Yes. We are here to help with loss & grief in all forms. I will work to help you through your pain and we endeavor to also help you find a way forward after tragedy including sudden deaths, infant loss, and miscarriage. Some doulas specialize in care that centers around children & infants. There are doulas who specialize in sudden loss, such as accidental death or suicide. Please know that you are not alone and I am here, ready to help.

 

Are death doulas expensive?

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Death doulas are by-and-large individual operators, so how much a doula charges will vary widely. That’s not a very helpful answer, but it’s the truth. Cost depends a lot on how much it costs a doula to operate in their given city & state, whether or not they do deathwork as their main source of income vs. a secondary source of income, whether or not they work under the umbrella of a larger company, etc. So, it is pretty hard to answer this question in a cut and dried fashion. Here at MODAmyra I will always be up front about services and fees so you don’t have any hidden costs or financial surprises in the midst of all the challenges you’re already facing at end-of-life. Additionally, many doulas operate on a sliding scale, have a la carte service options, or we have low-income options available. Some doulas work in a volunteer capacity as well. Please don’t hesitate to ask in your first conversation with your doula about fees so you can make informed decisions.

 

Are there death doulas for pets?

 

Yes! Absolutely. Pets are beloved family members and doulas want to support the whole family, no exceptions.

 

Do death doulas have a license to practice?

 

Not yet! There is no licensure in a state, national, or international sense at this point, but I believe it is only a matter of time until such a thing is a reality. In preparation, I follow a code of conduct and uphold a set of standards & practices in my work - in other words, I operate as though accreditation & licensure are foregone conclusions in preparation for that day. That said, I did receive my certificate of education from INELDA through a standardized course designed to prepare us for our work in death spaces. I take ongoing education and hands-on experience as the serious opportunities for growth and professional development that they are. Here at MODAmyra I believe in professional, comprehensive, and inclusive care.

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~m